How to Use Love Languages to Improve your Relationships (and Business!)

Applying Love Languages to Improve your Relationships

Learning to improve communication with different types of people is a passion of mine. Different types? For instance, the Gary Chapman categorizes people by their love language.

My love language is a tie between "physical touch" and "quality time", so it was hard for me to register "acts of service" as love a few years ago: my boyfriend would make me dinner to show his love and instead of appreciating it I would feel like he didn't love me enough because he wasn't physically affectionate in public. 

But love languages apply beyond a romantic relationship. Learning your own love language lets you know what your strengths and weaknesses are, so you can improve.  ("Acts of service" is now the love language I speak second-best; back then it was dead last!)

you can learn to speak other love languages

Learning to speak other love languages can transform a turbulent relationship into a strong bond. It's been the case for me more times than I can count!

what is your love language?

These are the five love languages: words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service and gifts.

If you don't know yours, you can take the quiz for free at Gary Chapman's site.

Besides transforming your close relationships, the ability to recognize and speak other people's love languages can lead to more business.  

People do business with people they know, like and trust. 

people give business to people they know, like and trust

People do business with people they know, like, and trust.

Sometimes you have to make the first move.

Sometimes people need to know you like them before they can open up to knowing, liking or trusting you. 

Sometimes people need to know you like them before they can open up to knowing, liking or trusting you. People experience this sense of being like/loved through the expression of their love language.

For this reason, it's helpful to be able to recognize other people's love languages. Here are some things to note about a person to help you figure out their love languages:

questions to identify someone else's love language

For instance, if the person often offers to bring coffee into the office, they might have the language of gifts as one of their higher love languages.  If a person can often be heard complaining about other people not changing the toner in the copy machine, perhaps their love language is acts of service. If they walk around putting their hands on people's shoulders, perhaps one of their highest languages is physical touch.

Once you know a person's love language, it's time to start "speaking it" to them. The following images offer tips for speaking each of the five love languages.

 It's also important to not forget special occasions... especially if the person in your life with the love language of gifts is someone you work closely with.

It's also important to not forget special occasions... especially if the person in your life with the love language of gifts is someone you work closely with.

 People with the love language "acts of service" need to feel like they have a partner in you. 

People with the love language "acts of service" need to feel like they have a partner in you. 

 This love language can be tricky in the business world. You probably want to avoid putting your hands on people (even a light touch on the shoulder) unless you are sure this is their love language. Some people are offended by physical touch. 

This love language can be tricky in the business world. You probably want to avoid putting your hands on people (even a light touch on the shoulder) unless you are sure this is their love language. Some people are offended by physical touch. 

 If your love language is "quality time", you probably are particularly aware of/bothered when people who pick up their phone while you're talking or at dinner. 

If your love language is "quality time", you probably are particularly aware of/bothered when people who pick up their phone while you're talking or at dinner. 

 Wondering if someone in your office has this love language? Leave a sticky note with a compliment on their desk and notice their response. If they save it or are particularly pleased by it, this language might be one they naturally speak. 

Wondering if someone in your office has this love language? Leave a sticky note with a compliment on their desk and notice their response. If they save it or are particularly pleased by it, this language might be one they naturally speak. 

Although people generally think of Gary Champman's five love languages as applicable only in your romantic and familial relationships, I have seen it change business relationships just as readily. 

Good luck, and let me know if you have any questions!

Disabilities Not an Obstacle to Business Ownership

Guest Post Written by Erica Francis of Readyjob.org

OWN YOUR OWN BUSINESS

 

Don't let a “disability” stop you from living your dream of owning your own business. Read on for tips on how to get started.

 

Do your research

There are a number of online sources out there that will answer most of the common questions. A good place to start is visiting the U.S. Small Business Administration online at SBA.gov. Take the time to look at your market to determine what you can do to set yourself apart from the competition. For instance, if your goal is to open your own recruiting agency, you may want to avoid industries oversaturated with talent and focus in an area struggling to find employees.

 

Know your niche

 

Some of the most successful businesses are also the most obscure. Establish yourself as an authority in a particular area and use the assets you have available to catapult yourself into a successful self-employment situation. As an example, if you have welding skills but want to tap into your creative side, you may wish to look into creating art for industrial facilities using materials from their own scrapyards.

 

Consider being an independent contractor

 

Technical and creative skills are in high demand and lend well to entrepreneurship. There are numerous freelance careers that are great options for homebound individuals, including online tutoring, curriculum development, and marketing content author. These contract positions offer extreme flexibility and allow you to work for yourself from the comfort of your own home. Thebiggest caveat of being a 1099 contractor is that you become responsible for paying your own taxes.

 

Figure out your financing

 

The Small Business Administration used to offer a loan assistance program specifically for people with disabilities. However, things have changed and financing for special needs business owners is no longer an easily accessible option. Most small business founders acquire startup funds through private equity or via small business loans. A small business loan is one designed to help a startup company higher staff, create a functional workspace and, in the case of those with disabilities, acquire assistive technology to adapt your workplace to work best with your physical or developmental needs.

 

Master marketing

 

In today’s digital economy, it’s necessary for most businesses to create a website that caters to their clientele. A business website should be designed with the customer in mind. Start by creating a FAQ section so that potential customers can find answers to their most common concerns. If you wish to create a website yourself, there are a number of services that can help you get started. Your site should be search engine optimized and filled with high-quality content including articles, blog posts, instructional videos, and anything else your customers may actively seek. In addition to online marketing, you should have business cards and informational brochures available for those customers who would rather do business offline.

 

Write a business plan

 

If you’re going to seek funding, you will have to draft a business plan. This is a document that includes an executive summary with an outline of your business, a description of your industry, specific marketing strategies you plan to use, a competitive analysis of your company versus others in your market, a section devoted to design and development of your business along with operations and management and a clear outline of financial factors. It is unlikely that you’ll receive funding without a well-thought-out business plan.

 

Take some advice

 

There are numerous organizations that offer free and low-cost counseling to new small business owners. One such organization, SCORE, has been around for more than half a century and offers small business owners free access to a vast network of (mostly retired) business experts that offer online and face-to-face counseling. SCORE mentors are veteran business leaders from your industry who give their time freely to help others achieve their dreams.

 

Be patient

 

You must nurture your business in order for it to grow. Don’t be discouraged if your company is not an immediate overnight sensation. Keep in mind that profitability and success are two very different things. It may take a few years for a successful start up to enjoy any significant profit.

 

 

 

“A hui hou” (until we meet again)

I remember hearing stories when I was younger from my mom about the flowers of Hawaii and how beautiful she recalled them being when she was living on Oahu. Luckily in my own travels many years later I finally got to experience the illustrious flowers of Hawaii for myself.

And yes, they really are a beautiful as my mom said they were.

The one flower I found on the island that became my favorite is the Plumeria. These flowers come in a few colors but are most commonly white with a yellow center or are a vibrant magenta. Plumerias are often used in leis to celebrate special occasions, but are very popular flowers to wear in your hair.

Wearing the flower in your hair can have symbolic meaning, reflecting your relationship status. If worn in the hair over the right ear, that is a sign that you are available, but if over the left then you are taken.

Let’s bring this tradition to the mainland, whose with me?

 

Blog post and photo by Morgan Williams

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