As I write this morning, I have a jar full of dried lavender in front of me and 3 drops of Lavender oil on my throat and solar plexus. I adore the smell. This, in itself, may be telling. I've been reading that we are naturally attracted to the scents of flowers and herbs that we need for healing. This innate ability to intuitively heal oneself without fabricated medicine fascinates me.
According to Emotions and Essential Oils, "Lavender encourages emotional honesty and insists that one speak their innermost thoughts and desires." Honestly, the first thing that comes to mind when I read that is my brothers and how hard it seems to be for them to share their innermost thoughts and feelings. Then I remember that old adage "You spot it; you got it."
My most poignant reminder of my secret struggle with deep communication comes from an experience in a writer's workshop during graduate school. The structure is such that the writer sits silently and listens while her classmates and professor analyze and dissect the piece. My awakening came when someone commented, "But what is the character thinking? We never hear her thoughts." The story was largely autobiographical and, up until that point, I had believed my thoughts and feelings were splayed across every page.
Sometimes, hiding looks like smiling and making pleasantries. Sometimes you can write a whole book about your life and still not get vulnerable. I remember defending my right to not get vulnerable at a personal growth workshop once. The staff smiled and laughed, filled with tenderness and overcome by the fact that I had not experienced the liberation of vulnerability: "It is through open communication that an individual experiences unconditional love and acceptance," (43). Unconditional love and acceptance! Pretty major.
I am making progress. I am a lot more open than I used to be, and I continue to push myself. This blog is pushing myself. I haven't written anything this openly honest in at least a year, maybe more. Maybe it was the Lavender's doing. I don't doubt it.
Want some Lavender of your own? To get a free Lavender satchel with each purchase, enter the code "Lavender" into the note section of your order. Click here to be taken to the flower shop.
Emotions and Essential Oils. American Fork: Enlighten Alternative Healing, LLC. Book.
Web MD. Retrieved 2016, July 8.
Hartman, Stacy. Success Masters. podcast retrieved 2016, June 30.